Sorry for my absence for the past few days, friends. I had a busy weekend helping my brother and his family move, and then I turned twenty-five on Tuesday. So happy birthday to me, or as my brother always writes in his cards, “Happy 10/4 good buddy.”

In honor of the occasion, I thought I’d bust out a really self-centered post here and do one of those goofy, high-schoolish Facebook note surveys regarding what celebrity you’re most like or what your most embarrassing moment was, etc. This one is, shockingly, birthday-themed. (Don’t worry, kids. In exchange for one day of narcissistic drivel, I promise to go back to the good stuff for the rest of the week/next week–I have some posts planned on two kitchen makeovers, one finished and one planned, how to survive and eat well when you’re “funemployed,” etc. Also, I promise there will be a cute puppy in this post.) I feel a little ridiculous pretending that the 200-some-odd people subscribed to this blog care about what I got for my fifteenth birthday, but what are blogs for if not blathering pointlessly about yourself? And so, without further ado, I present…

KATE’S SUPER FUN TIME BIRTHDAY RETROSPECTIVE!!!

Question One. How many birthdays have you celebrated so far?

twenty fiveQuestion Two. If you could have any gift within the bounds of physical possibility, what would it be?

Probably a trip around the world. And a crème brulée torch.

Question Three. What was the worst birthday present you ever received?

One hates to look a gift horse in the mouth. However, at my sixth birthday party, after blowing out the candles I went inside to use the restroom so as to enjoy my delicious cake with an empty bladder. Upon returning, I discovered that my so-called best friend had eaten his own slice, mine, and the other remaining pieces. So I actually got “negative cake” for my birthday. I’d say that’s a pretty crap gift. Thanks, Alex!

Question Four. Have you ever purposely given someone a crappy gift?

I did give my friend Adam a bag of stale Cheetos once. However, Adam and I share a weird love of stale Cheetos, so he understood it as the thoughtful gesture it was meant to be. I have received the same lovely gift from him on several occasions.

Question Five. Who would be the worst birthday party guest you could possibly imagine?

I’m thinking a complete troll, someone who would make a scene and be a total asshole to everyone in attendance. Someone who makes me utterly boil with rage. So…

Question Six. What was the best birthday present you ever received?

This one is actually tough, as I’m surrounded by people who know me really well and give awesome gifts (see: stale Cheetos). I got a car for my sixteenth birthday, as well as my first sewing machine, which is still going strong after nine years and a BFA in fiber arts. However, I would have to say that my best birthday present was…

My sweet, sweet Raina. (She’s the puppy on bottom looking disgruntled at the butt in her face. Please, please, please enjoy my braces, school-spirit face paint, terrible blonde haircut and dip-dyed jeans.) Our family dog died shortly before my 15th birthday, and my parents offered to get me a puppy. I chose a precious eight-week-old Australian Shepherd, who has since grown up into a quirky, brilliant, and beautiful dog. Raina’s ten years old now, and has been one of the best friends I could ever imagine. We even took a thirty-minute detour on our wedding day to stop by my folks’ house and get a photo with Rai (who is, sadly, a little too high-strung to be in the actual wedding).

Yep. I love this dog.

Question Seven. Who would you most love to have at your birthday party?

There are two answers to this question. First, the depressing answer: my oldest brother, Leo. His birthday was October 3, the day before mine, and he died shortly before my sixteenth birthday. I’d love to party with him again.

Second, the nondepressing answer. I’d love for Ben Folds to swing by and bust out some tunes–like this one which I am partial to for some inexplicable reason:

Question Eight. What did you/are you doing for your birthday this year?

I had a little family celebration with my parents/siblings/aunt during the aforementioned move on Sunday, then went out to dinner at a fabulous place called Cyrano’s with my parents that night. (Onion soup au gratin, mushroom crepes, cherries jubilee and Millionaire’s Coffee–amazing!) Tuesday, my actual birthday, Jimmy brought me McDonald’s breakfast in bed (boy knows I can’t resist hashbrowns and a Cinnamon Melt) and then we had dinner at 44 Stone after he got off work that night. (Welsh rarebit, butternut squash and goat cheese sandwich, and Crispin cider–also amazing.)

The big event isn’t until October 15–my dear friend Lana and I, whose birthdays are just about a week apart, are having a joint Harry Potter-themed birthday party. It’s going to be one for the ages. Colleges will create majors to study this party. I’m telling you. More on that later.

Question Nine. Are there any more questions?

No, dear readers, there aren’t.